Lets get physical

Is there anything more humiliating than a physical? Thank goodness my doctor is female but she's also much younger than me. She's in her last year of residency. Instead of explaining what happened, I will just tell you individual thoughts I had. 

Ugh, I hate saying the word "breasts". Am I giggling? Grow up!

Pap smear. Yay. I'm on my period she will make me resche..... Oh great, she can still do it. Crap. I didn't bring any extra feminine supplies. Where? What? Ughhhh.

Undress? Completely naked? Oh, you have a gown. Could have mentioned that before my face showed panic. 

Oh no, the gown. Which way did she say the flap was suppose to open. Good Lord, would it kill me to shave my legs! 

Oh crap, the flap goes in the back. I can't make eye contact. 

Put my hand above my head. Good gracious, my arm pit hair!! I don't even...don't ask me... What? A lump? Ugh, I have to schedule another person to watch my kids?

Relax my knees? I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. No, don't test for any STDs thank you. I'll take my chances on gonorrhea. 

Thank God. We're done.