H*ween

This "holiday" is steeped in scariness, for me. Not in the typical "boo" and "spooky" type fear but more of the, Satan's birthday, going to hell type. Growing up we weren't allowed to participate in the night, nor recognize it in anyway. No special outing, no candy, no nothing. It wasn't spoken of. Like some topics, it was kind of a given that Halloween meant hell, just like sex meant pregnancy, drugs meant suicide, smurfs meant devil worship. Now that I have kids, I've had to really think about why some christians opt out. why did my family opt out?

Like all things of faith, its best if you work it out and not just accept traditions as truth. Hiding in a dark house on halloween doesn't make sense to me now. Of all nights to meet your community, halloween is the one. Of all the times to actually connect and make friends with the people God has placed around you, Halloween would be the night. To purposely close yourself out and snuff out your light, frankly doesn't make sense to me or explain to me the gospel that I've come to know.

That being said, I'm working against a long tradition of fear around this holiday and to say I'm "participating" is very weak. To be honest, it still scares me. Saying Halloween, or hearing my kid say it doesn't actually give me much peace. Its very difficult to align how I think and how I feel. Some people may think its no big deal, but for me, there's always been a proverbial line in the sand and to walk across it opens up much more than just Halloween (for me).

 I'm sure you've heard, "What Would Jesus Do" and that in and of itself is a heresy to me because I feel the minute you think you've figured out God and know exactly what He would do in any situation is the moment you have created your own version of Him, one that you can control and bend to your ideas. Although, the bible is pretty clear on many issues but others, not so much. That is why I'm still figuring it out. To be honest, Halloween for me is one of them. I don't think God would be for or against a holiday because He is impartial, but is also highly jealous of our hearts. He loves truth and loves us. Perhaps He allows me apprehension to protect my spirit. For others, He knows they're not as sensitive. Anyway, so continually working it out.

Tips (this one is free)

My cousin said, you should blog your tips. It's true, I should. These are things you should know.

Bathe your children with dishes. Less work.

Use double sides tape on children's limbs. Play "roll around the carpet" and voila, no need to vacuum. Stairs are more tricky and legal issues are involved.

An easy way to foster healthy competition, bribery and cleanliness,is to tell your children you are eyeing a special object (toy, dirt, piece of lint) and whoever finds it gets a prize (3 hours of TV is good, enables down time for exhausted mommy). They obviously need to be cleaning in order to do this. Always choose the very last thing they put away.

Cookies can be breakfast because its basically cereal except for the fact it's not cereal.

Break into loud show tunes to stop toddler temper tantrums. The angry tears turn into fearful tears and then they just want a hug.

Always say something is out of batteries if you don't want it used. iPad, iPhone, toy, stove.

Avoid telling kids they are brave. They'll believe in the necessity of this bravery over monsters, spiders and baths, proving these things are evil in and of themself.

Lastly when strangers dote on your children, grin and blush while drinking in the success of your mothering. When strangers comment on their negative behaviour, deny they are yours.

You're welcome.

Repetitive words

I have kids. Because I have kids, words come out of my mouth (sometimes at a volume that could cause a landslide) that I never thought I'd say or perplex me to where they even came from. Here are the most commonly said words or phrases:

Your socks are perfect. I cannot line the seam up any better along your toes.

Your hands are not hurting you, that's just ketchup.

I don't know where you're black friend is! (Or) your black friend is under the couch.

I can't centre your straw in the middle of the lid.

Pull up your pants!

Get your hands out of your pants!

I did not drop a bomb. (Or) yea, I did drop a bomb.

Please wear a shirt with a collar/tshirt with tag/non-fleece pants, it doesn't hurt!!

What's in your mouth???

I can't make poo come out! Push!

I can't turn off the sun.

Personal space!!!!!!

No one has ever seen a dinosaur. No you haven't. No you haven't! NO YOU HAVEN'T!

Daddy's car in not a jalopy.

Eleventeen isn't a number.

You don't cry over LEGO/play doh

The insides of radishes are not green. No, they're not. NO they're NOT