Who wears short shorts?

Stop the presses, I'm wearing shorts. In 1997 when my parents went to the middle east I stopped wearing shorts because at that time, the dress code there was long skirts. It evolved to pants, then capris and it ended there. I got used to it. Saved on having to shave past the calf. So today marks a new day.
I have realized 1) I'm cold 2) my legs are hairy 3) my legs are white